Nothing is more wonderful in having a life with someone you commit for the rest of your life. In this article, overcoming commitment phobia is emphasized because it is an important tool for a life that is growing and nurturing as the people will continue to interact with someone else until he/she finds someone to be with without fear of changes, and most of all without fear of commitment.
LET’S RESOLVE THE ISSUE!
Life is not always certain and no matter how we avoid some things, we will be encountering people who are so much afraid of commitment. Those commitment phobic people are the ones who fear getting involved into a long term relationship and the changes associated with it. They also fear the idea of getting HURT, the occurrence of conflicts that can be too hard to bear, devastating INFIDELITY and some FINANCIAL consequences. The fear cannot just simply happen without a known cause, as this can arise out of negative past experiences on a relationship or some other reasons, but whatever are the reasons, it will not have a good effect into a person’s life which he/she is unaware of. The fear will make the person out of reach and he will not be able to build a meaningful relationship with someone or to his family and even to friends making his life UNHAPPY and BORING.
True enough, nothing can be done in life without getting committed to it. Whether in the relationship, or in the job, it always asks for a commitment and LIFE will always ask for your limitless commitment. How can you be able to perform your function in the family and in the relationship when you will not be committed to do it? You see, the idea of COMMITMENT is not something to be feared. When you make a commitment to someone or to a particular thing in life, it only shows that you are responsible and can handle different situations of life independently and maturely. So even when reality is telling us that there are people, including you (maybe) who really fear commitment to life and to anyone and would just run away from the situation, take NOTE that you are actually missing some significant things in life. So, to prevent from experiencing this, ADMIT YOUR FEAR and learn the ways in overcoming commitment phobia.
1. ACKNOWLEDGE the fear that you really do not want to share your life with someone. Sometimes, the person who doesn’t successfully find a relationship is the one who are not sure about their feelings if they really want it or not. As such, getting clear with your goals is part of the first step. Start identifying what you really want or else when you are at the start or middle of the relationship, you will not get confused and just leave the relationship hanging, and worst, hurt the person you were once committed for.
2. Never enter into a relationship when you know you fear commitment. Such fear will only put into the new relationship in a rocky road. When you already know the causes of such fear, work on it. When you were wounded before from your previous relationship that caused you to be what you are right now, it’s not good to enter again another relationship. Again, make time for yourself. This time, think about things that make you happy. Think about building your whole you. Rebuild your self-esteem and confidence by doing things that makes you worthy such as cooking, attending short classes, etc. When you fear commitment because of the possibility of infidelity and separation, change the way you think. Remember, it will not happen when you and your partner will fulfill each other’s needs. Change the way you think about things, be logical.
3. It’s also good to talk about your fear to someone dear to you and whom you trust, or might as well discuss this with a professional that can really understand your situation. Talk about anything and everything about your fear, your reasons and the causes. If time cannot permit you to overcome it, then consulting a therapist is the quickest and most effective way of working out your problems. More so, during the therapy, make sure to be proactive and be willing to cooperate with things he asks you to do.
4. Learn from your friend’s experiences on a relationship. How they have been intimate and loving with each other and most importantly on how they have stick together even if problems occur. You may also look at your parents and grandparents who have been together for so long yet they still keep the bond they promised. You see, by knowing those wonderfully given facts, it will help you realize that it’s a beautiful experience to be committed and there’s no reason to be fearful about COMMITMENT.
5. If you are very eager in overcoming commitment phobia, the fastest and the most effective way is to undergo a group therapy from a professional. There you will be encountering different people who have the same FEAR and PROBLEMS with you. You might hear their stories and what they have learned and find out. The therapy may also show you success stories of a man’s conversion from being commitment phobic to non-commitment phobic. You will really be learning a lot and eventually you will also apply it in your life, which then help you build a meaningful relationship to your friends, family and to the person you want to spend the rest of your life with.